At this time of year graduations abound. This post lets you know the true story about how the academic traditions came about.

ACADEMIC REGALIA – THE TRUE STORY 

It’s graduation time and time for a closer look at the traditions involved including the weird outfits you have to rent. Academic regalia is “steeped in tradition” according to unnamed sources in the college book store where rentals are processed. And if you’ve been through one of these tradition riddled ceremonies, you know about steeping. The cap and gown come directly to you our of the European universities of the 12 and 13th centuries – the dark ages if you will. The robes and caps are, mostly, and appropriately, dark – black, because scholars and clergy were synonymous. Why the clergy wears black is another matter.

The 16th century saw Oxford and Cambridge adapt the specialized academic outfits, and since we tend to ape the English educational system rather than the European models, here we are sitting in a stadium somewhere facing the rising sun in our black polyester wrappings – like a tea bag in hot water.

The American Council on Education makes all these style decisions. It’s not like they hire Oleg Cassini (though he is dead) or Vera Wang to decide on the cut and color.

The main difference in the gowns is in the sleeves – bachelor’s degrees – straight sleeves; master’s, long pointed sleeves sewn shut which is handy for carrying tissues or stowing your smokes etc. Doctoral gowns have round open sleeves and black velvet stripes.

The hood – that colored thing that hangs down the back of the robe is like a spleen – don’t know what it’s for anymore, but there it is. Academicians say the hood is like the cowl worn by monks and if you know Emily Dickinson – the monks wore hoods over a short cape called a tippet. And from the tippet, the part that drapes down the back of the robe, the liripipe or the tail The tail us usually silk and the colors depend on where you went to school and what you studied. For example the fine arts is brown for all the shit we have to eat, dentistry is lilac and you can figure that out yourselves, and forestry is russet as I believe green had already been spoken for.. Theology is scarlet – and I’ve always admired the dashing contrast, but not enough to become a theologian.

The cap evolved from a piece of cardboard held over ones head to protect it from pigeon droppings . Medieval cathedrals were nesting grounds for vagrant pigeons and it was dangerous to sit for any period of time without protection. To dress them up, a tassel was fastened by a button on the top. The hats were called pileus squarus after their square shape and we sometimes refer to them as mortar boards which has something to do with what’s been shoveled in to the heads below. This square board protected the middle aged (that’s a joke) monks from falling mortar as the construction workers in those days were notoriously clumsy. As you know, once the degree is conferred, you switch the tassel from the right side to the left side. This signifies you are eligible to begin paying back student loans.

If you imagine yourself striding purposefully across the manicured greens of an English school your black gown billowing behind you – get a life. Imagine yourself at a land grant college on the Great Plains with nothing between you and the north pole but a three strand barbed wire fence. On a coat rack in your small gray cubicle, atop your boots and under your parka securely wrapped in plastic though no moth yet born would eat the stuff – sits the stuff dreams were made of – the symbol of your success.